We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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