The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
