She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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