If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
