so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
