Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
