Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
