If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
