onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
