i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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