the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize