This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
