I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
