Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
