you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
