I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Help me help you realize you are a moron
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
