how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
