we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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