so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
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