I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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