he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize