You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
