I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
