Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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