Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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