I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
