I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
apparently the secret to your success is patron
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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