3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
