having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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