the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
