I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is wine microwaveable?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
