Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Alive.
So much puke
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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