well I can't set my house on fire every night
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Randomize
