How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize