ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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