So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I wish life had little blips of pornography
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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