ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Even my vagina gasped.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My vagina is officially offended.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
