Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize