i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I will be naked everywhere
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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