How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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