just tell him i said nine months
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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