So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Randomize
