If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
