its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize