My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
