he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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