I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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