Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Even my vagina gasped.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
