some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
