meet me or not, i'm out of control
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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