Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
