Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
