Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
