my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize