hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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