she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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