Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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