i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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