white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
