Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
