yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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