Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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