I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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