What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
