just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
