I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
