so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
