I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
